Episode Notes

[00:00:00.112] – Dani

Also waiting for everything just to. Turn on. So less than a year ago, less than a year ago, I was I don’t think I was even contemplating doing any sort of event. I was trying to figure out what to do with my business. And I was really working within a a one woman ecosystem. Have you ever felt like that where you’re just in your own kind of like ecosystem, you’re comfortable, you’re trying to, like, design your website or maybe write a few blog posts or do your podcast and you’re just kind of on your own.


[00:00:38.362] – Dani

And I functioned for a long time like that. And I think when I reflect on it, it was because of one thing that I want to talk to you about.


[00:00:48.302] – Dani

I was really, really terrified of talking to people, which is because if you know me, you if you’ve ever interacted with me, you would think I’m Dani know, she’s like she’s a total extrovert. She’s like really great with people. I can, like, chat people up and we can I can just get to know you. I can do small talk and and that’s for me, it’s actually no problem to do it.


[00:01:12.952] – Dani

But I really, really struggled feeling like I was just going to waste someone’s time, especially when it came to business dealings, especially when it came to like I didn’t even know, like, how could I like I’m going to work together with someone isn’t like business.


[00:01:29.152] – Dani

Like, you know, you you you wrestled together to get the customer and it’s it competition isn’t all about competition. And it made me feel really uncomfortable. So like less than a year ago, I was in a situation where I was challenged. I was challenged to do something really, really uncomfortable. And you know what that was? It was just it was to reach out to a higher level, let’s say higher level, like all the cool people, higher level speakers for a summit I was putting together.


[00:02:05.572] – Dani

That was one of my my strategies that I was going into one of our businesses. It was a strategy that I wanted to try out. And leverage for that business is to do a virtual summit. But the thing that was really holding me back from doing the summit, I can do the tech, I can like I can build a funnel. I can even not I’m nuts about it, like copy and all that. But the thing that got me hung up and I think causes a big stumbling block, a roadblock for many people is talking to other humans.


[00:02:38.242] – Dani

Isn’t that interesting, talking to other humans like, you know, influencers and experts and all those people? Yeah, those were the people I was supposed to have influencers and experts and reach out to them and have them come to my summit. But I was like frozen because I was like, how do I talk to them? Who do we see? I’m just going to like all these guys, I’m going to waste their time. Why do they want to why why would they even want to, like, speak at my summit?


[00:03:02.832] – Dani

I don’t know. I don’t know until I had a coach. And basically he said, what’s the worst that could happen? You know, and had all these fears and all these things going on through end of like, I can’t I can’t write an email to them, I don’t know how to properly speak. Have you ever felt like that where like you don’t know what words that you should properly see to get people to be interested in you? That’s I really struggled with that.


[00:03:29.132] – Dani

And he said, what’s the worst that could happen?


[00:03:32.552] – Dani

And I thought about that. I was like, hmm, what is the worst? Are they going to come and murder me? No, probably not. I’d be pretty bad. But you’re probably not going to do that.


[00:03:40.982] – Dani

The worst thing to happen is they say no. I don’t want to speak at my event. They’ll just simply say no, and when I confronted that reality, instead of having it as like an unknown kind of like fear that hangs over you, have you ever had that? Were you like because it’s not clear what you’re supposed to do, you get this anxiety or this fear. Once I really thought it through together with my coach and I thought, man, all I could do is say no.


[00:04:13.372] – Dani

Then the next thing dawned on me. They’re human. I can talk to humans. They’re like me. And it was so funny because I wrote that first email out to one of these influencers and experts, and it was someone who was closer in my circle of acquaintances. So I wasn’t so scared. Right. And so I wrote an email and I was like, hey, would you be interested in in maybe speaking at the summit? And and I didn’t say, like, oh, you can say no if you have no time, because that would be typical Canadian Dani like, don’t worry about it.


[00:04:44.122] – Dani

Like, if you don’t have time to know. I was really clear. I was like, hey, I think you’re really awesome. I was being totally honest with that person. They are an expert in their in their sphere. And I was like, I think you’re amazing. I would love it if you would consider coming on as a speaker. I’d love to interview you. You bring so much value. And and I was totally I was totally authentic about it was easy to say that because it was true.


[00:05:07.672] – Dani

And she wrote back and was like, yeah, I’d love to. And when I just when I got over that hurdle of, like, I can ask, I can I can talk to a human and I can ask them. The worst thing that they can do is say no to me. When I got over that and figured out what clearly I was afraid of it, it it actually became really easy.


[00:05:27.832] – Dani

And I was able to in that summit, we had like over 20 speakers come. I emailed all of them actually more than I actually got some notes. And what happened when I got those notes, I was like, all right. But most of the notes that people gave me were like, man, I can’t do it this time, but I’d really love to be considered in the future. And I was like, man, people are actually interested in this and they want to do it in the future.


[00:05:49.642] – Dani

I had I not taken that step to reach out to talk to a human to these experts who are humans like you and me. I would have never realized that that they would have been interested in what I was into or what I was putting together. Is that interesting?


[00:06:08.272] – Dani

And then another really amazing thing, reaching out to these influencers and these experts, I got to sit in interview like over ten amazing entrepreneurial women and mothers, and I got to learn all about their businesses, all about their family lives, all about the struggles in their lives. And after every session that I had with them, I was like, wow, I can’t believe I was afraid of that. I can’t believe I was afraid of just talking to a person.


[00:06:39.442] – Dani

And, you know, have you ever had coffee with a girlfriend? And you’re just you’re sitting and you’re just enjoying this conversation? That’s exactly what it was like. And a month before that, I was like panicking.


[00:06:49.852] – Dani

So I was like, I don’t know if I could do this. This is like too scary.


[00:06:53.092] – Dani

I don’t know what if they like what if they, like, yell at me at the interview.


[00:06:57.322] – Dani

And I was like, you know, all brought down with these lies, like things that I never they were not they were not real.


[00:07:07.072] – Dani

And I’m so, so glad that I did it. I reached out and I did it because now I’ve done multiple events after it. And I’m like, what’s your problem? I have to sit there for a week and freak out about like, oh, my goodness, should I, should I, should I do it? Can I do it? Am I wasting someone’s time? That’s actually that’s a really that was a belief that I had to overcome and a false belief might get a false belief.


[00:07:33.412] – Dani

I’m just going to waste someone’s time. And so when I started reframing or thinking about myself as a servant, I know that, like for some people, they don’t want to think of themselves as a servant, but I think of myself as a servant hearted. When I started viewing myself as serving them and loving on them and being a partner in their business, then it took away that like I’m robbing them of their time. Have you ever felt like that where you’re like, I’m robbing people of their time?


[00:08:02.722] – Dani

So it’s better just that I stay in my my own my own space here. And and I think the enemy really uses that. I think he really he tries to get us to to retreat and to think of these things before we step out and have to say those relationships have led to business partnerships.


[00:08:21.772] – Dani

Now, like long term things that I would have never dreamt of, like strategy, helping me in my business. Think of it in a different way. Partnerships that I’ve been able to use and other events I can bring them into. Like Facebook groups. I can do other events with them. So it has led to so much fruit. And that is why I’m I’m totally passionate about events. I’m totally passionate about, you know, doing doing video and inviting people on because I believe.


[00:08:47.852] – Dani

That relationship is like the new currency, especially in business, it’s all about relationship. You know, we have relationship with our customers. We have relationship with our businesses that we partner with. It’s all about relationship.


[00:08:59.832] – Dani

And when we say no, because we’re like, I’m so scared, I don’t want people to reject me, they’re going to hate me. I’m going to waste their time. I’m not worth it. You know, that’s just the enemy because it’s not true. You have something unique to give. You’re awesome. You have a great service and you are coming as a partner. And when you start viewing yourself like that, then the a world of possibility opens up.


[00:09:19.472] – Dani

So my challenge for you today is to reach out to someone who you could potentially partner with. Maybe you have your own podcast, maybe you’re publishing somewhere, maybe have a Facebook group, reach out to someone and invite them in to your business. Like, let’s be hospitable with the space that God has given you with your with your business. Reach out and invite them in and view yourself as a partner where you can grow together, your your business instead of working as a one woman show.


[00:09:49.142] – Dani

All right. So that’s one challenge for you today.


[00:09:51.602] – Dani

I’m so happy that you took your time and to listen.


[00:09:56.672] – Dani

And if we have the Christian women in a business festival and expo happening in two weeks now. Yes, March 29th through three.


[00:10:07.682] – Dani

First you can get your free tickets. I’ll put the link there. You can find it on my site anywhere. It’s free. It’s going to be awesome fun.


[00:10:14.852] – Dani

It’s all about relationship and transformation because God has given us the calling to be entrepreneurs, to transform, to transform relationship, to transform the world, to transform society’s awesome, amazing.


[00:10:27.902] – Dani

So come to our event. It’s free. I’m so excited to have international women from all over the place. And yes, have a great evening. It’s nighttime here, so you probably have afternoon. I’ll say goodbye and we’ll talk next time. Bye bye.