Episode Notes

[00:00:03.290] – Dani

Hello, everyone, happy Tuesday, I am live with you every Tuesday and Thursday, and I’m excited to be here because I’m actually taking a break from packing. And it’s one thing to be moving house, right? It’s one thing to be packing up all your stuff and moving away. That’s already a lot of work. Right. But have you ever packed with a one and a half year old? Have you ever packed with one and a half year old? That is like a whole other game, my friends. It’s a whole other game because I will pack a box and then she’ll come along and, like, unpack something.

 

[00:00:39.800] – Dani

So for me, it always feels like I’m going like two steps forward and one step back because I pack something in the box and then she automatically comes, takes it out, and then I have to run after her because she’s like toddling down the hallway. So that is the joy that I’ve been having. Packing up and moving will be heading to Germany in a couple of weeks. But today, I don’t want to talk about that. I mean, you might you might feel like that in your business, right? That you’re like taking two steps forward and then one step back because you you have like a one and half your toddler in your head, like taking up stuff and and causing your attention to go all over the place.

 

[00:01:14.570] – Dani

Right. But today I want to talk about I’m a fraud. You probably saw that title. I’m a fraud. Have you ever had that thought in your business? Have you ever had that thought? Were you like, oh, my goodness, I’m a I’m a fraud? How what are they going to say? What are they going to say when they find out? I don’t really know what I’m doing. Have you ever have you ever had that? I know that I have. Especially if you were like new to business or you’re like you’re just getting into things that you have this little voice in your head that’s like, oh, my goodness. When they find out that I don’t actually know what I’m doing, they’re going to lose all respect to that.

 

[00:01:53.130] – Dani

I want to I want to encourage you how to deal with this, because it’s like a one and a half year old Talan after you and build you know, you’re building up all of this confidence. And as you go forward in your business, then that thought comes and takes it robs your attention, and then it takes you a lot of momentum to try to get back into things. Right. So let’s get rid of the I’m a fraud toddler. How do we do that today? I want to encourage you to be a student. Right. We talk very often about this when I’m talking about like marketing and going into your business is the first thing that you need to do is be a student of your market and be a student of the people who are in your niche or in your sphere. What does it look like to be a student? It means you’re researching their websites, you’re asking questions. What are people talking about? What are their problems?

 

[00:02:44.000] – Dani

What are their needs? Instead of coming to the situation like I know or I, I think I know what they need and I’m going to do that right. When we put on this attitude of I’m a student in our business, this I’m a fraud Aditya, or this I’m a fraud persona, maybe we can say it actually it actually gets shoved, shoved away because instead of saying I’m an expert on amazing. I know everything you’re saying. No, I have.

 

[00:03:12.320] – Dani

There’s always something for me to learn. Right? There’s always something for me to ask questions about. And that when you’re when you have the freedom to ask questions, you have the freedom to make mistakes. You have the freedom to just do things without feeling that fear that people are going to figure you out. Right. I remember putting on an event and I had an email from some lady and she was like, Dani, I see that you’re putting on this business event. I don’t think it was this last one in March. I think it was a different one that I did.

 

[00:03:42.560] – Dani

And she was like, I haven’t even started the business yet. Am I allowed to be there? And I kind of laughed, I was like, of course, you know, in my head, I’m like, of course she’s allowed to be there. But I know in her head she’s probably thinking, what if they find me out? What if they find me out that I’m not I don’t belong to this group, that I don’t know what I’m doing. Right, and how often has that I don’t know, or I’m a fraud or they’re going to find out, how often has that stopped you from actually being moving forward? Right.

 

[00:04:16.760] – Dani

It’s kind of like that one and a half year old that toddles away with your stuff and you’re like, oh, wait, no, I shouldn’t actually listen to that thought. I should. It wasn’t that one to have your own need to go get my stuff back and put it in the box. Right. It shifts your attention for a moment. Then you’re like you have to struggle back to to focus and to get clarity again. Right. But instead of paying attention to that, that one and a half year old who’s saying you’re you’re a fraud, I know this is kind of silly and say, well, I’m a student. I’m a student. Right. I don’t know everything. And that’s OK. It’s also OK to make mistakes. Why is it OK to make mistakes? Why is it OK to even disappoint people? Because we learn from that and we become better and we become stronger and we go on right. Can we look today at our mistakes and go, those are good things? Because those gave us clarity.

 

[00:05:08.790] – Dani

I can look back at my mistakes that like trying to build up one of my first businesses and do no marketing at all. I can look back at that and go, well, it’s a good thing I failed there. The thing it didn’t work out because I totally didn’t understand. And you know what the awesome thing about this digital entrepreneurship is? You don’t have like a building. Most of us don’t have a building that we have to worry about. There’s not huge overhead costs that are looming over us that if we make a mistake, like we go bankrupt. Right. So this is the beauty of the type of entrepreneurship that we have chosen online, is that you can make a mistake and you can shift quickly. You can make a mistake. You can shift quickly. Right, and the best thing to do is make mistakes faster, make mistakes faster, you’re not a fraud.

 

[00:05:53.770] – Dani

If you make a mistake, you’re a student and students are allowed to make mistakes because that’s how we learn. We talked I had a video previously talking about viper bites and sharp knives. I don’t know if you saw that one, but we talk there about how it’s not just the information that creates an experience, right? It’s not just the information that changes us. It’s it’s the experience that creates a shift. Right. And so when we’re making mistakes in our business or when we are kind of acting the fraud, for lack of a better word, we learn from that and we can shift quickly.

 

[00:06:32.950] – Dani

Right. And then we it like it’s like this learning this holistic learning experience, I guess you could say that helps you to move around and to shift a lot faster. Right. And you really don’t have a lot to lose in that. So don’t let that I’m afraid thought be that one and a half year old toddling off with your stuff and get you stuck because you’re going to spend too much time worrying about what people think. And it really it really doesn’t matter what they think right now.

 

[00:07:01.690] – Dani

It really doesn’t matter if if it really just cast off those things and keep pressing on forward. Right. Because that’s that’s where you going to find freedom, perfection, perfectionism, though it’s good to have good quality things, is kind of the killer of of momentum because we’re always, like, second guessing ourselves. Have you have you ever stuffed and been stuck in your thoughts? Anyone? I know I have. I was like laying in bed last night and I was like I was thinking I was thinking about all these different things. And then it brings me to other thoughts. And then you don’t really do anything. You can’t really do anything with those thoughts. Right. Just you get you get stuck in them. Right. So you are going to be putting on the let’s say the I want to say a helmet. You’re going to be putting on the the the student. Right. And that is going to take away the fraud. You are not a fraud. You are a student. You make mistakes. That’s good. You pivot and quickly shift. Mistakes are good because they show us what we can do better and what we can do. Right. Right. So we can celebrate that.

 

[00:08:17.860] – Dani

We can celebrate those things. And if you have any other thoughts, if have you ever struggled with this thought before that I’d love to hear in the comments, what have been the biggest helps for you? Or you can email me or you can message me wherever wherever you find me. Let me know what has helped you to deal with. What if they find out that I don’t really know what I’m doing? What has helped you as you’ve dealt with that thought, as you’ve dealt with that that fear? I’d love to know because we all are different. For me, it is really helpful to know I’m just a student. I’m learning and I’m open to learning. And my whole life is about learning and I will never stop learning. So I will never be an expert in that respect. I will never be. I always want to be learning.

 

[00:09:07.660] – Dani

I always want to be listening for people, listening to people. And and I think, you know, as humans, we’re dynamic and we change all the time. Right. So we need to be open for that learning and for that being a student. So that’s really helped me to get rid of that fraud thought. And I’d love to hear what has helped you or what what kind of things do you do to help you through that, or is that even a challenge for you right now? What gets you stuck? I know for me that was that got me stuck for a long time.

 

[00:09:40.190] – Dani

I want to invite you guys today as well. We are going to be I’m going to be speaking at a summit and I’ll put the link down below if you want to join. It is the successful startup summit. We’re going to be talking all things like family and business with my good friend Kim. And that’s going to be today. I can’t even remember the starting. I know when I’m going on, it’s like 10:00 a.m. Pacific Time. And so I it’s a free ticket.

 

[00:10:08.290] – Dani

So I’d love it if you would join us. And if you at all are thinking of putting on an event or something for your business, I’d love it if you would come and chat with us. You can see below has risen events, dotcom. That’s the link that you just need to click to book a call with me so we can talk about how we can impact your community, how can it cause more transformation? But the people that you serve using virtual events.

 

[00:10:33.760] – Dani

OK, so I am so thankful that you came and popped on here with me today. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Wherever you are in the world, it’s been a pleasure. Looking forward to seeing you on Thursday again. All right. Have a great day! See you later.